assbuttsinpurgatory:

└Bonus [x]

lowcultured:

“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

snoipahkat:

once in elementary school i got a D on a test and i legitimately thought my parents were going to kill me so at recess we had a funeral and my friends picked me flowers and pieces of grass and let them blow away in the wind it was very dramatic i cried

zackisontumblr:

if you’re feeling down i can feel you up

bridgentunnel:

I hate when people say they’re having a “Great Gatsby themed party” because unless someone ends up dead in the pool by the end of the night, honey that’s just a Roaring 1920s themed party…

bestillmyshippingheart:

ravingsofabitch:

A few days ago, some guys came to the steak house I work at and ordered a Downtown Brownie, which is this huge ass brownie with ice-cream and whipped cream and hot fudge and chocolate chips. They wanted to share it, but they were both guys, so they made me put it on 2 plates. So I did this.

#the best part about this is #i bet they fought over which one had to have the plate with ‘homo’ on it

Wanda sex Tip #486

wandas-sex-tips:

When he starts to moan your name, stop and start singing ” That’s not my name”

_{knock-knock jokes, loki style.}

fyeahhiddlesworth:

amon-amore:

kisu-no-hi:

Read More

ask-the-odd-couple-from-asgard:

They go at it every other week.

http://ask-the-odd-couple-from-asgard.tumblr.com/